The title for this website comes from the last line of the Christopher Nolan picture ‘Momento’ (2000). As he drives along, Leonard Shelby who suffers from a disorder that destroys his ability to form new long-term memory ponders the just-now-revealed to-him truth – which he will then forget a few moments later – that he has for a long time being laboring under a delusion. The delusion is an unsolvable puzzle that he has deliberately given himself through an array of memory clues like tattoos and Polaroids with notes written underneath them and which he can no longer remember. Then he forgets again the truth behind his entire motive and action: ”Now, where was I?”
I have to think a lot about why I like this line. Consciousness seems like a continuous stream, but it is more like waves. Between the waves, if you develop sufficient concentration to perceive it, consciousness briefly blanks out altogether before refreshing itself. Certain aspects of the way that our thought is set to construct itself mean that we rarely question how we have come to arrive in any particular place, time or on any particular thought because we are tricked into thinking that we have progressed linearly, progressively and, at least to some degree, of our own free will. We are constantly asking ‘Now where was I?’ and looking at certain familiar clues of how we ended up where we are and what we were supposed to be doing. But, like Leonard, we are looking at the wrong clues to understand the mystery of why we are doing what we are doing and what we must do next.
It’s problems like these that interest me the most, ideas of what consciousness is and how it can be explained and expressed, in poetry and prose. The name of the website in a gimmicky way could also refer to the fact that I travel a lot and will write about it sometimes here, but I only find that interesting up to a certain point. It could also refer to my very absent-minded disposition.